Please Make it Stop!
I accidentally heard a 21st-century country song this morning. Godawful shit. But it was the consummate modern country song. It was sung—or painfully moaned—by this ol’ boy who sounded like he had a mouthful of cotton and Juicy Fruit.
This song had all the critical 21st-century country-song elements. There was a mention, possibly an homage, to ol’ Hank (Hank Williams Sr., one of the actual true talents of this genre, who died in 1953), and a sad attempt to align this singer’s questionable talent with Mr. Williams.
Cotton-and-Juicy-Fruit Mouth paid a tribute to his truck (a requisite), fucking his girlfriend down by the crick (that’s a small stream, best I can figure—not to be confused with a stiff neck). Then he threw in some ’Merica bullshit.
The girlfriend (I assume white and blond, probably with big tits, though Cotton-and-Juicy-Fruit Mouth didn’t specifically say) “sure dun filled out them cut-off jeans!” (My takeaway here is that she had a very nice ass…)
CM/JF Mouth failed to mention whether his truck did, in fact, have four-wheel drive. I suppose that’s implied, what with “takin’ ’er down ta the crick” (see above). Some stuff about God and ’Merica again… fishin’ and more beer…
It’s not that this shit is so bad that it bothers me, but for the love of Allah, can’t they write anything new and original? This isn’t just these Hank Williams hacks, either; it’s books, TV shows, and music.
I think about Willie Nelson’s concept album, Red Headed Stranger, and then this garbage. This nonsense insults ol’ Hank and Willie, and George Jones, and Waylon, and Johnny Cash, and Haggard… and all the other masters of their genre who have somehow passed a very confused torch to this village of idiots.
But it’s not just absurdly soulless country music. Is anyone, anywhere, writing anything new and original? Superman and Batman, and Star Wars prequels, sequels, and spinoffs.
Please, make it stop!
That’s it for me this week. Here are some books to look at.
Stay safe, it’s getting weird out there!
Bill
